Engaging the Next Generation Via Rock Talk

Changing patterns in volunteer and affiliation patterns have amounted to a gigantic wake-up call for the established Jewish community. What has emerged is a dynamic discussion within kehillot (congregations) and many non-profits about how to engage the next generation.

Facebook, Twitter and Web 2.0 have been hailed as the magic pill. Yet we have found that social networking alone merely constitutes tactics for building community, rather than a comprehensive strategy to meet this goal. Furthermore, while many organizations and kehillot have established online platforms, few have mastered how to maximize their impact as part of an integrated engagement initiative.

I recently wrote about Wilfred Drath's theories about "relational dialogue" as the ideal model for leadership in our times. Relational dialogue is akin to community organizing, as it generates ongoing opportunities for meaning-making in communities of practice.

As the book of Numbers winds down, we are sadly reminded that Moses will not lead the people across the Jordan River. Drath's ideas about leadership models, I believe, can help us understand why Moses is punished for not speaking to the rock. His ideas actually complement  those of Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, "The Netziv", who was the last Rosh Yeshiva of Volozhin in the late 1800's.

As you may recall, as soon as the Israelites leeave Egypt they need water. In the first year of their journey, Moses is told to hit the rock and water comes forth. 

The second time the issue of water arises, God commands Moses to speak to the rock. This new directive, 39 years after the first one, is somewhat perplexing. First and foremost, the thought of speaking to a rock seems strange. Even in 2012 it feels funny talking to Siri on our iPhones, let alone a rock without voice recognition software. More to the point, if hitting the rock worked before, then why does God change course now? 

To understand the new directive, we have to grasp the mindset of those who would witness the miracle. The generation that left Egypt were accustomed to strong leaders (in Drath's "Personal Dominance" model), such as Pharaoh and Moses, who used force as a mechanism to maintain order. Hitting the rock is an act of force to which the recently freed slaves could appreciate.

Thirty nine years later the next generation, born into freedom, God realizes, needs a different experience. God tells Moses to speak to the rock to symbolically indicate that these people are ready for a new leadership and communal paradigm. The next generation are prepared to take part in the conversation about constructing a new society in the Promised Land. Their thirst would be quenched by deciding their own destiny.

Moses' error in judgment is not realizing that the "rock talk" is about showcasing a new model of leadership. Simply put, he doesn't realize that the medium is the message.

We face similar challenges today. There are new ways of reaching the next generation. When we sit face to face either online or in person, it is vital that we make room for the young - and young at heart - to contribute to a communal dialogue about our shared future. By convening our own "rock talk", we invite all stakeholders to play a role in actualizing a vision we create together.

The Key to the Kehilla of the Future

The term "leadership" is used so liberally today, it can be challenging to pin down what it means and how best to make it happen.

A provocative exploration of leadership comes from Wilfred Drath in his book, The Deep Blue Sea. Dissecting leadership to its basic elements, he identifies leaders' core tasks as "setting direction" (create a vision), "creating commitment" (generate a coalition to actualize the vision) and "facing adaptive challenge" (use a shared mission to deal with change).

In an attempt to uncover the nuances of leadership, Drath presents three different models:

1. Personal Dominance – Leadership happens when a leader acts. It is a personal endowment of leaders.
2. Interpersonal Influence – Leadership happens when a person influences other more than he or she is influenced. This is a process of negotiating social influence.
3. Relational Dialogue – Leadership happens when people make sense together of shared work.

He believes that the first two models are limited and that Relational Dialogue is best equipped to meet the challenges of our time.

Looking at these models through the prism of  history, we can understand better. In the context of Jewish history, a leader who exudes "Personal Dominance" can be Moses or King David. A model of "Interpersonal Influence" seems to describe the rabbis of the Talmud who achieve success by having their opinions accepted by the majority.

What about Relational Dialogue? Where do we see this approach in Jewish history? 

While I am not sure that we have seen this model in the past, it is happening all around us today. For instance, Jewish learning experiences built around chavruta (paired learning) welcome and encourage dialogue. Independent minyanim also ask participants not only to define their shared values, but also to take an active role.

Furthermore, Beth Am Synagogue's (in Baltimore) "613+ Shabbat Dinners" and The Riverway Project of Temple Israel in Boston are using dialogue to create community.
  
Similar to community organizing, this model constitutes meaning-making in communities of practice. The fundamental tools here are listening and dialogue. Ultimately this approach encourages participants to embrace communal responsibility so that a shared narrative can be actualized and experienced by others.

Our Sulam Leadership team at United Synagogue has made facilitated dialogue a pillar in all of our offerings because of the impact it has on everyone involved.

In an age of change, I believe that kehillot can benefit deeply from adopting or integrating elements of the Relational Dialogue model. Beyond introductions and ice breakers, this approach can be used to generate conversations about our values and to assess how well we are achieving the community's vision.

One of the pillars of contemporary adult learning theory is that we learn best when we actively participate in conversations that impact our lives. To borrow a phrase from the Khan Academy,  Relational Dialogue can transform a rabbi and educator "from the sage on the stage to the guide on the side."

Relational Dialogue holds great promise for Jewish leaders to energize their kehillot today, and it may just hold the key to unlocking the kehilla of the future.